gotitmmrizd | Prisma Inbox

That would be weird of me when you're okay with me dating someone.

[He sips at his drink and gives a shrug.]

As long as everyone's okay with it then it's not that big a deal really, right? Because we're happy with what we've got going on.

Mmm... [Rhus shrugs.]

I'm Miqo'te-- multiple partners is practically cultural for us. You, however, are not, and one never knows how the other races deal with such things.

I have no idea honestly. I've been a little out of the loop on that stuff. So I'm just going with what feels right for me and whoever I like.

[Rhus leans against the table now, moving on from tapping his mug to the surface of the table-- now his motions are more quiet, because he merely has the pads of his fingers to hit the polished wood with.

Then, he smiles.]

Good. You're dedicated to what you know.

But I shan't begrudge you should you put Isa at a higher priority than myself.

I try not to think about things that way because it's not fair to the people I care about. I mean, yeah, I'm dating Isa. But if I just always put him at a higher priority then I risk hurting the people I love. There's gotta be a balance.

[Lea gives a little bit of a shrug.]

We'll get it all figured out. But right now we know that we're likely going to end up with others here too so we're open to that. Besides, he knows I really like other people too. I've told him everything.

Everything, eh? [A little part of Rhus feels relieved that he did not tell Lea much about himself, before he squashes that thought ruthlessly.] I suppose I should feel fortunate that nothing significant has happened with me-- but then again, he wouldn't be bored listening, with what little has gone on here.

[Clearly someone doesn't think he's one of those people Lea likes.]

Edited 2019-12-07 10:27 (UTC)

Okay I mean that I've told him all about us hanging out and me liking you and things like that. It wouldn't be fair to you if I shared personal stuff about you. That should be for you to share with him.

[Which is basically just him saying that hey. He definitely likes Rhus. For sure. This is something that he's definitely figured out about himself.]

But he never seems to get bored of listening to me. Which is good since I talk the most of the two of us.

[Rhus' eyebrow raises... but he decides to put that out of his head. He wont pursue that thought future, that apparently Lea has been sharing things about him. He cant help but feel like his privacy has been violated by someone he doesn't even know, but he's glad he didn't say much about himself for Lea to even share.

Which is an uncharitable thought in itself, but one Rhus definitely has.

And another uncharitable thought is one that perhaps he should keep a little more to himself, refuse to share overmuch.]

You are partners, obviously. I think he would feel comfortable telling you if he did not want to.

[Lea does notice that look he's being given. Did he say something wrong? Again? Great, what did he do this time? It's like he can only manage to do the wrong thing these days.

Ugh. He hates that his confidence is like this. It's not like him!

He just laughs a little to cover it up. No need to have anyone worrying about his stupid problems.]

Oh he does. Isa's never had a problem telling me to shut up if I'm talking too much. It's been that way since we were kids.

Mmm... [Rhus' ears flick. At least Lea has someone who can be confident and open with him.] That's good.

[Then he closes his eye, hands around his mug of coffee, and he raises it to his mouth. Though he doesn't take a sip of it just yet.]

I confess I dislike people talking about me, especially to someone I've never even met. I find myself relieved that you might not have shared anything too personal about me. [If Lea had at all. He's still not sure about that, really.

It's a crawling, nasty feeling, to be talked about to a stranger and be outright told about it.]

Might not? No, I wouldn't at all. That's not fair to you.

[End of story. Lea looks really serious about that fact.]

Let's put it this way. You know Isa and grew up together and we went through a lot with the Organization. You know I live with him and I'm dating him. But you don't know anything else because it wouldn't be fair to Isa to share that. It's the same for you when I talk about you with Isa. He knows we hang out, he knows I like you. He knows you took care of me when I was drunk, he knows you're Miqo'te. The rest is basically up to you to tell him when you meet him. If you want to.

[He frowns a bit.]

Do you really not trust me that much?

'Tis not about trust, Lea. [Rhus opens his eye again, looking straight at Lea. He's not amused at the way this conversation is going, but...

How can he put feeling into words? He's not good at this.]

I've never been comfortable with people talking about me and exchanging opinions, especially if they tell me directly that they have been. I've been of the opinion for a long, long time that if someone wants to learn about me, they can come to the source directly. [Meaning, himself. Then he sighs and empties his mug, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.] Once, I told you that I'd rather people just know me as a person?

In these moments I'd rather be no-one to them.

Isn't that part of people seeing you as a person? Being talked about like you are one. You're not some title or legend. You're just you. That friend of the person who cares so much they want to tell others about you.

[Lea gives a bit of a shrug.]

I get that you want Isa to know you as you are but I've made a promise to him that if I'm with someone then he gets to know about it. Same with anyone he's been with.

Those things may not be mutually exclusive... but neither should they always happen together. [The flailing of his tail behind him shows just how agitated he is in this situation, despite his face being mostly impassive, only a slight wrinkle on his brow.

How does he put words to feelings? This is so damned difficult, and Lea being so insistent is making his agitation worse.]

I still cant accept it. No matter how you dress it up, or talk in an attempt to appease me... I will still not be comfortable.

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